Free to do what you want

Well, it’s been a long while, probably since I’ve been busy pretending to be a community over on Praha fixed. It’s hard to be a community for more reasons than the obvious singularity of myself. My tendency is to bitch and moan, as evidenced here on these pages, but if one is expected to be a community, one cannot constantly bitch and moan about those around him. It’s trouble, but I’ve somehow managed to pull it off thus far.

Me myself and the community were cycling around a packed Old Town on Tuesday, enjoying a day away from the steely swine-flu furnace of Gattaca in honor of the celebration of the Czech march down Narodni trida, which somehow triggered the end of the Dark Days ®. I was hoping to catch the “art action” of Guma Guar, who planned to release 1000 rats onto Narodni trida in the middle of the party, but it turns out they canceled the akce. Maybe they thought the rats would be at a disadvantage in that environment and thought better of the plan. Maybe they thought nobody would “get it”. I dunno. I would have gotten it, but I was rolling around hoping to see it in vain.

With all the whooping and back-patting in the media over the fall of the wall, I figured that there’d be something notable happening. There was nothing. There was a day off, which most people used either to get drunk or to go for an extended weekend in Austria to get drunk and ski. When the Berlin wall was dismantled, I was skateboarding. Twenty  years on, I’m riding a fixed gear track bike through Prague. The more things change, the older I get, I guess.

After reading Buford’s “Among the Thugs” earlier that day while trying to get out of bed, my secondary hope was that I might lead my community into a head-on 30 km/h collision with the Czech Nazi community, who were also planning some sort of akce that day – all 13 of them:

These men love the cock.

Alas, that dream was also not to be, and I ended up rolling through the docile crowd doing skids to frighten the kids, thinking how much different all of our lives would have been had the Czechoslovak government in 1989 had the brainpower to wheel out a few free kegs of beer that November long ago.

It’s all about community, I thought, as a couple of sorry little “floats” were rolled past the Tesco – an oversized roll of toilet paper (evidently unavailable during the Dark Days ®) and a bunch of oversized Tuzex coupons, which the Czech used to have to use if they wanted to buy hairspray, Nintendo games and Bangles style hoop earrings. They could barely squeeze the damned things past the crowd of mobile-chatting observers, who’d parked themselves in the middle of the street with warm cups of Gambrinus and their ubiquitous sausages. This is what history has come to, I suppose – a cursory qualitative comparison of two failed systems delineated by the relative availability of soft paper to wipe one’s ass with. Again, Bike Snob is up on top of the zeitgeist, rogering it in the ear:

I rolled around for another hour looking for Nazis to antagonize and ended up at the Two Cats, drinking tank Pilsner and talking about the swine flu with some friends. It started with swine flu, then moved to peak oil. Christ, I thought, if the end of days is upon us, why can’t they just hurry it up so I don’t have to go to work tomorrow?

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~ by themicah on November 19, 2009.

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