jsi normální?

Are you normal? Well, if you need to ask, as the saying goes… This is a favorite greeting from Prague drivers, repeated often and with astounding variations of tone and mode. It can manage in all sorts of situations, mainly being used to mean that the person addressed is not “the same” as the addressing person. I can deal with that, Honza. Especially when you’re loaded, hanging out of your sporty friend’s late model, white Opel Douchewagon like a Golden Retriever with brain damage. Yes, I think I can deal with it.

Here’s how I can deal with it, for example. If I were riding back from a company dinner at around 11pm on a Thursday evening, eager to get home and try to forget the horrors of fois gras; if it were raining gently but the air was still warm and Autumnal, I might consider riding on the road with both my little lights blinking away and my fab new cap from Son of Son reflecting happily away upon my noggin. I might consider this to be a good night. I might ride at speed with traffic, happily contemplating my snoozing wife and the joy of being alive and generally undamaged on such a night. Then, for example, I might hear the unmistakable groan of a late model, white Opel Douchewagon, sputtering along behind me as though the devil himself were in the pace car. I might be shocked if that Douchewagon were to suddenly swerve out into the tram lane, catching the bottom bit of plastic under the front bumper and ripping it off along the low concrete curb placed there to keep people from doing something exactly that stupid. If I were pulling up at Manes for the red light, listening to some badger-faced little turd toaster scream “jses normalni, vole!” at me using his best outside voice, I might just think to myself, thank Christ I’m not normal like you, Honza. Don’t you have a teen-aged daughter to molest or something?

True story. I suppose I’m to blame for ripping his bumper off, and I suppose his wife will get it when he gets home, since I blew him a kiss and got him all bothered. Sorry Hanka, my bad.

map_normalni

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~ by themicah on September 14, 2009.

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