Could it be? Or, a panty rage from the archive…

Amazingly, my morning commute passed without a single incident! I’m deadly serious here. I rode up Jecna and down the Magistrala, through Karlin to the office and not a single twinky honked his horn at me! Not a single tweetie swerved in my direction while applying eyeliner to her mobile phone! Douchebags snoozed in their panel apartments, their Audis rusting quietly in leaky garages!

Look a gift horse in the mouth? You better believe I’ve got my dentist’s mask on – those things work up the bomb foul morning mouth.

Here’s one of my favorites from the archive. I call him Cobag Cop and he lurks in the dark streets of Prague, waiting to breathalize innocent drunken Honzas and collect money for his Croatia fund.

So I was riding back from Duende, a bar in the old town, and yes, I’d had a few. A drunken biker isn’t likely to hurt anyone but himself anyway, and there’s little evidence many would miss me. Passing under the national theater, I spotted a herd of coppers lurking like there was a stray donut nearby. Junior Officer McFly spotted me at the last minute, jumping out into the middle of the road with his glow in the dark Harry Potter wand, signaling me to pull over and looking for all the world like a minion of the Romanian airport runway control circa 1967. I couldn’t help but laugh, switching direction at the last minute like Zidane embarrassing the UVA soccer squad. It was so masterful that I swear the cop muttered “sorry” as I passed him.I’m sorry too, McFly.

So, in this funny little “Euro” world of 120 in a 30 zone, Russian gangsters too dumb to know how to activate a modern turn indicator and trophy wives who hang CDs from the rear views of their Bentley Continentals, these cops want to pull me over? For why? They want to fine me for not carrying a first aid kit? Perhaps a lecture on road safety followed hard up with an extended palm, intending to impress upon me the necessary candlepower of my blinking light?

Meh. Not a very good one today, I’m sorry. But there’s always the ride home.



~ by themicah on August 19, 2009.

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