The Rockin’ Roller

The funny thing about traffic lights is that they are often timed in sequence. This comes as a surprise to many specimens of driver. Douchebags who run the first in the series find themselves sticking out and blocking traffic at the next intersection. Sometimes, like this morning, a particular gel-haired twinkie will fire out into the intersection and try to run two lights in a row. When he’s defeated by the daunting column of oncoming traffic, he rolls back to a sort of gray zone between the two lights. He then pops his collar, picks up his mobile phone and tries to avoid eye contact with other drivers until his time has come again to sheen.

Bikers, of course, don’t enter into his careful calculations. Today, one such specimen rolled back into me as I passed through the intersection he was carefully trying to occupy. Sensibly, of course, I dropped my right foot onto his bumper and kicked the bike out of the way of his drifting manager-mobile. Infuriated, he rolled down the window and started screaming at me. “I’m fine, go back to your phone call,” I told him. Roll up, douchebag.



~ by themicah on August 18, 2009.

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